


Elation (The Feeling of New Beginnings)

by Shadaras



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: F/F, Post-Canon, Star Trek: Short Treks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-28 21:43:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16250372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadaras/pseuds/Shadaras
Summary: It was, of course, an honor to be personally invited to represent Starfleet and the Federation at Queen Me Hani Ika Hali Ka Po’s tenth anniversary of coronation. It also meant that Sylvia Tilly was now being forced to contend with her absolutely overwhelming and undeniable attraction to Po, who was probably definitely aware of said crush by now because Sylvia was incapable of hiding her feelings.





	Elation (The Feeling of New Beginnings)

It was, of course, an honor to be personally invited to represent Starfleet and the Federation at Queen Me Hani Ika Hali Ka Po’s tenth anniversary of coronation. That the request had named her specifically and come from the queen herself made it a bigger honor. That the rest of _U.S.S. Ingenuity_ was—of course—invited to attend as well meant that absolutely _everyone_ knew about it, and also meant that Lieutenant Commander Sylvia Tilly had to explain to absolutely every member of her crew at least twice that she was excited because Po was her friend who she hadn’t seen in ten years—and not because the queen knew her name—and was just _annoying_.

Sylvia played Po’s personal message again in the safety of her quarters. The message—thankfully— _hadn’t_ been broadcast throughout the ship as part of the announcement that they would be wrapping up their current work around Sherman’s Planet and heading to Xahea in four weeks. If it had been, Sylvia thought she would have died of embarrassment—she’d only been on _Ingenuity_ for five months, and even if she’d been transferred as a department head with the highest recommendations, she was still the least senior office of her rank on the ship. Definitely the newest officer of any rank, except the Academy-fresh ensigns who looked at her with awe and really didn’t count.

The message itself wasn’t particularly embarrassing except for the way that Po looked into the camera and said Sylvia’s name like it was a personal treasure—the same way that Po said Xahea’s name, if Sylvia was being honest with herself. Since receiving the message two weeks ago, Sylvia had watched it at least once a day, thought about it at least once an hour, and hadn’t yet figured out if she was going to respond with anything other than her initial “Oh wow yes!” incoherence that had somehow stretched into five minutes and ended with her saying “I love you, I’m so happy I can see you again!” (which she hadn’t intended to say—the first part—but meant with every fiber of her being).

So that was where she was, Sylvia supposed. She squeezed her pillow to her chest and repeated along with Po: “I hope you’ll do me the honor of joining me for this celebration. And, Sylvia—” she smiled and reached forward, towards where Sylvia’s face now was, and Sylvia reached back and let her hand pass through the recording of Po’s with an almost physical ache of absence “—I have missed you, and I look forward to introducing you to Xahea and welcoming you properly into my home.” Sylvia pressed the dilithium crystal amulet she wore underneath her clothing. A talisman from a friend, she told those who asked, but she never told them exactly what it was. The scientists who insisted upon scanning everything, she just told “It’s a gift” and refused to elaborate or let them study it further. She didn’t like those. They were annoying.

Also none of this solved the actual problem, which was that Sylvia Tilly was now being forced to contend with her absolutely overwhelming and undeniable attraction to Me Hani Ika Hali Ka Po, who was unbearably sweet and also one of the most incredible engineers she had ever met—which was saying something, considering that she had crewed exclusively on science vessels (even if _Discovery_ liked stretching the boundaries of what that meant) since she had left the Academy—and also was probably definitely aware of said crush by now because Sylvia was incapable of hiding her feelings.

Admittedly Po didn’t seem adverse to her in any way. Sylvia groaned and curled up on her bed. “I am not going to embarrass Starfleet,” she told herself, voice muffled by her pillow. “I am going to show up to Po’s party and act like the lieutenant commander I am. I’m head of research! I am not scared of the idea of wearing a dress and seeing Po dressed up! I have seen this before!” And now she was thinking about that, and her horridly inappropriate reactions that she had never told Po about but if Po knew anything about humans she had probably figured out the gist of it by how Sylvia kept _looking_ at her and especially the way her muscles flowed into her breasts and—wow she was gay. And a bit of a disaster. But mostly just gay.

Still, she’d survive. Somehow. Sylvia sat back up and pointedly put her communicator away and shut off her computer. She’d take a shower, sleep, somehow get Po out of her mind, and go back to work. Time would pass. They’d be going to warp in no time, and once they left it wouldn’t be long at all until they reached Xahea and she got to see Po. Sylvia nodded firmly to herself and stood up. It would all be fine. She’d just focus on her work, and everything would turn out alright. It always did, somehow, even when it really seemed like it shouldn’t. This definitely wouldn’t be the exception to that.

Two weeks later, when _U.S.S. Ingenuity_ dropped out of warp above Xahea, Sylvia watched the planet come into focus on the bridge’s central screen. Captain Nasim Das turned to smile at her. “Excited, Lieutenant?”

“Extremely, Captain.” Sylvia kept her hands tightly clasped behind her back, and did her best not to bounce on her toes. She met Captain Das’ gaze, and registered their amusement right about when she realized how big her smile was.

Captain Das laughed, and told Comms to hail Xahea. Sylvia missed at least half of what happened in their conversation because she was too busy studying Xahea. She’d seen pictures—Po sent her some in their first tentative communications after she was crowned, when she needed a friend and Sylvia was happy to be one—but the living reality, even through the screen, was different. Po talked about Xahea as if it were alive, and while all planets were alive, Sylvia hadn’t comprehended how this one felt different until just now.

Xahea pulsed with blue veins of dilithium, visible even from this distance. Sylvia could spot dark spots, presumably where Xaheans had tried strip-mining before Po had put a complete stop to the practice (she was still proud of Po for that; it had been her first major edict as queen), but they were seemed more like—more like pimples, which was a terrible metaphor but also one that she couldn’t get rid of, in that it might be natural but also people could make it worse, and also it was usually something people didn’t want to have. She thought Xahea might think of the dark spots like that. As much as Xahea could think, which she didn’t _think_ it could do but considering that Xaheans viewed themselves as an extension of Xahea, she wasn’t going to rule it out, either.

 _Ingenuity_ slid into a parking orbit flanked by two Xahean patrol ships, and Xahea spun beneath Sylvia’s feet. Sylvia blinked, and pulled herself out of contemplation of the potential sapience of a planet—which was something she couldn’t even rule out considering literally everything about Stamets’ life at this point—to re-focus herself on Captain Das’ conversation, which they were just wrapping up.

“We would be happy to send down a landing party in an hour,” Captain Das said. They glanced over at Sylvia, and gestured her forward. Sylvia walked into comm range, trying to project more confidence than she had, and nodded her head in acknowledgement at the Xahean commander on screen. “I know you would like our Lieutenant Commander Tilly to be part of it. How many other representatives would you like at this time?”

“However many you think sufficient.” The Xahean did the shoulder-roll that was their equivalent of a shrug. “We have housing for ten at this time. While your own presence would be enjoyed, we understand that you may have a captain’s duties to your crew.”

Captain Das nodded and looked over at Sylvia. “Lieutenant Commander. Choose three companions. You will be escorted by four security personnel.”

“Sir.” Sylvia saluted.

Captain Das acknowledged her with a smile and a wave of their ring-covered hand. “Go on.”

“Yes, sir.” Sylvia bowed slightly and then turned and walked away, very properly, until she got off the bridge and into the elevator, where she abandoned all pretense of dignity and bounced up and down whispering “Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck” until the elevator slowed to a stop again and she had to take a deep breath and put on her Real Lieutenant Commander face and actually _think_ about who she was going to invite along to see her fall apart at the sight of Po.

Sylvia had talked about it with a number of people while preparing for this trip, but ended up inviting Commander Joann Owosekun, who had transferred with her from _Discovery_ , along with Lieutenant Tyrel Agathon from Engineering, and Lieutenant Tori Costanza, who Sylvia had already embarrassed herself in front of enough times at department parties when they had a grand success or frustrating failure and therefore knew all about her crush on Po already. Which helped. She thought. They all agreed, and so she met them at the transporter room just a little early, dressed in a clean uniform and carrying a bag of personal effects.

Jo grinned at Sylvia and slung an arm over her shoulders. “Excited to be a VIP?”

Sylvia nodded and felt a few strands of hair escape her bun. “Excited to be along?”

Jo laughed. “Always.”

Tori wagged her lovely dramatic eyebrows at her, and Sylvia scowled. Tyrel didn’t seem to get any of the subtext going on—Sylvia wanted him along because she needed someone from Engineering to see what the Xaheans were doing, and she trusted him not to betray anyone’s trust—but Jo’s laughter deepened as they stepped onto the transporter platforms. The security personnel arrayed themselves around the edges, and Sylvia pulled herself away from Jo to stand front and center. Someday, she told herself, she’d get used to that.

As it was, she just took a deep breath and told the techs, “Ready when you are.”

The ensign on duty this shift—Yannet, a young Betazoid—saluted, checked the settings on her controls, and said, “Energizing.”

Sylvia held her breath as the transporter beamed them down. It was a silly habit, but one she’d had since she was a child and hadn’t managed to break yet. It wasn’t doing any harm, even if it didn’t help. In this case, holding her breath at least meant that when they appeared in the Xahean transporter room she didn’t need to worry about if she had air in her lungs: She knew she did, and it didn’t help one bit.

Queen Me Hani Ika Hali Ka Po was standing right there waiting for her, and she was resplendent. The blue markings on her face had deepened, and her piercings were studded with tiny blue gems that Sylvia recognized as recrystallized dilithium, just like the necklace she wore. Po’s dress clung to her, a dark plum that emphasized the warmth of her skin and the blue of the dilithium she wore. Sylvia stepped forward before quite realizing she was moving, and from the look on Po’s face she was doing exactly the same thing.

Po smelled like engines. That was the first thing Sylvia realised, hugging her. Po smelled like engines and her hands were digging into Sylvia’s back with a strength and dexterity that didn’t surprise her because all engineers were stronger than they looked and there was no way Po was going to be an exception. Po was taller than her now, too, and Sylvia pressed her face into the crook of Po’s neck, feeling the smoothness of Po’s skin and the softness of Po’s dress against her cheek.

Then Po drew back, and Sylvia remembered the entire idea of propriety, and stepped back as well, though she let her hands slide down Po’s arms until they were holding hands. “It’s good to see you again,” Sylvia managed, though the words sounded paltry and faltering after the way Po had felt in her arms.

Po smiled and squeezed her hands. “I am glad you are here,” she said softly. More loudly, and with her eyes moving beyond Sylvia’s face, she said, “We welcome you to Xahea! Come and rest, enjoy yourselves—settle your bodies and hearts here, before we celebrate.”

“Thank you,” Jo said, and Sylvia blessed her for speaking. “Your commander told our captain that you had quarters prepared for us?”

“Of course.” Po released one of Sylvia’s hands to wave forward one of her escort. “Captain Yuni Ra Kela Te and her squad can show you to them.”

Sylvia glanced back at Jo and realised two things in quick succession: Her friend had picked up the bag Sylvia had apparently dropped, and Tori was barely restraining laughter. “I can take care of my own things,” Sylvia said, but even to her the protest felt rote.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jo said with an easy smile.

Tori said, through stifled giggles, “I’m sure you have a lot to catch up on.”

Sylvia turned back to Po, and realized that her friend was flushing faintly violet. “Whichever you prefer,” Po said. Her hand did tighten on Sylvia’s, though.

“So long as it’s no trouble,” Sylvia said, and heard the expected agreements that it wasn’t, “I’ll come with you for now.”

Po’s smile was everything Sylvia had ever wanted.

When Po turned, she released Sylvia’s hand, and though she _knew_ it was just because of propriety, she couldn’t help the wave of sadness constricting her chest. Still. She stood tall and followed beside Po as best she could, hurrying her step to half a skip sometimes. None of Po’s security detail followed them; evidently she’d been cleared, and the transportation room was in the palace, so it was as safe as it could be. That was nice. She didn’t want to worry about other people right now, really. She didn’t think Po did either, by how Po was sweeping by other Xaheans with a simple nod and acknowledgement instead of allowing any of them to have a full conversation with her.

Po finally stopped in what Sylvia was almost certain was her own rooms. The antechamber was full of nice couches and side tables and also had a very clear divide between Things Politicians Need and Things Engineers Need. One door was labelled “Queen Me Hani Ika Hali Ka Po”, and the other was labeled, much more simply, “Workshop”. A third door, placed between the two, probably led to Po’s personal rooms, and that was the one Po led Sylvia towards.

Inside, everything was simple—wood and plain fabric in silver, purple, and blue, elegant without being overwhelming, and eminently practical. Po shut the door behind Sylvia and sighed, and Sylvia felt as much as saw a mask drop from her. When Po looked up at her again with a slight shy smile, she looked far more like the girl Sylvia had met ten years ago than the regal queen who had greeted her less than twenty minutes ago.

“I really am glad you’re here, Sylvia,” Po said, and Sylvia shivered slightly at the way Po said her name. “When we decided to have this celebration, I just thought—” Po ducked her head and spoke to Sylvia’s feet, which was incredibly endearing and also Sylvia couldn’t help but move towards her again and hug Po as she finished talking “—you had to be here, since you’re the reason I went through with this to begin with.”

“I wanted to visit sooner.” Po’s pulse beat strong and steady and warm against Sylvia’s cheek. “But I’ve been so busy—command track—”

“You don’t need to apologize!” Po gripped Sylvia’s shoulders tight. “You’ve been doing amazing things! I’ve been following everything that _Discovery_ and _Ingenuity_ have done while you’ve served with them, and you’re at the center of so many amazing advancements!”

Sylvia tilted her head up so she could see Po’s face. “You have too! I wish I could have seen you after you passed the sustainability codices!”

“That was nothing much,” Po protested, but she was flushing violet again.

Sylvia reached up to touch Po’s cheek before she could think better of it. “I think about you all the time,” she said quietly, before she could lose her nerve. “And this is so not the best time to say it, but—”

Po placed her hand on Sylvia’s and leaned a little down. “I’ve been thinking about you too,” she murmured. “And I want—”

“I really want to kiss you,” Sylvia blurted out, and before she could close her eyes to hide from whatever Po’s reaction would be, she saw Po’s eyes widen and her lips curve up in a smile that Sylvia would call incredulous in a human.

“I would like that,” Po said. She shifted her arms, until one was solidly around Sylvia, and her other hand trailed along Sylvia’s shoulders, where a Xahean’s spines emerged. She leaned forward, slowly enough that Sylvia could have moved if she wanted to, if she hadn’t been almost frozen in surprise.

“Oh,” was all Sylvia managed before Po’s lips gently touched hers.

Po’s touch felt like the first brilliant moment of comprehension, the way it felt to see a math problem finally click into place or see a theoretical biosphere align in an actionable manner. It felt like the first time she had seen the sporenet, or when she made her own translator from scratch, or when she had first stepped on to _Discovery_ and felt like she might be able to make everything work out.

Sylvia slid her hand around to the back of Po’s head and kissed back for all she was worth, trying to let her body tell Po all the things she couldn’t find words to say, starting with _Thank you_ and ending with _I love you_.

From the way Po leaned into her, Sylvia thought she probably got the idea. She always was smart, and fast at making connections like that. It was one of the many things Sylvia loved about her. Kissing was quickly being added to that list, and Sylvia imagined many other things would follow in due time.

For now, Po finally pulled back with a laugh, and Sylvia smiled into her shoulder.

“I am glad you are here,” Po said again, but it meant something different now, with Sylvia wrapped in her arms and intending to stay there as long as she could.

Sylvia kissed Po’s neck, just because she could, and said, “So am I.”


End file.
